Yours Bitterly: Shallow Answers to Tough Questions

Q) Expand – (a+b)ⁿ

Solution: (a + b)ⁿ

= ( a + b )ⁿ

= ( a + b )ⁿ (Final answer)

Here’s the thing about the above answer - while it looks to be right, we all know it wasn’t supposed to go this way. My nerd experience tells me that whenever a question looks very easy, it is a trap. If answers are obvious, math questions wouldn’t be called “problems”.

Last week, we lost Sushant Singh Rajput (SSR), a rising star of Indian cinema. Preliminary investigation has revealed suicide; perhaps more details would come out soon. The event left the entire nation shocked, and everyone was searching for answers, as to what could drive a person to that step. What was actually going in that person’s head, who was full of potential and also so successful? Tributes started pouring in, and people started paying him respect in the most meaningful way of our times – putting Whatsapp and Instagram stories.

Suddenly, the social media is bombarded with posts on mental health. Suddenly, everyone is aware, that people who commit suicides are in a dark place of their own. Suddenly, they realize that people can sometimes get bullied even in Bollywood. A lightning strikes their heads, and they realize that Bollywood is plagued with nepotism.

Since the general intelligence quotient here is so high, people did start finding answers to all the questions. They found a clip where SRK was joking with SSR in an award show and immediately identified that it was bullying. They found a clip where Alia Bhatt was playing marry, hook up and kill (Alia chose the last option for SSR), and immediately decided that she had disrespected him. When SRK dropped a condolence message on his Twitter feed, someone called him out as arrogant. While the question was difficult, people did find all the simple answers. They connected some dots, and found a ‘group’ of people (famous directors/producers, star kids, etc.) on whom the entire blame could be placed upon. While some of these folks might be part of the problem, they aren’t the problem themselves.

nepotism - the practice among those with power or influence of favouring relatives or friends, especially by giving them jobs

Why are people even surprised by nepotism? It’s not just Bollywood, it is present everywhere. Politicians, corporate moguls, people at higher levels of management in organizations, or basically anyone who can assert an influence is often exercising it (not all of them, but a lot of them). It’s not a Bollywood problem, it’s a social problem. However, you can still choose to blame it all on one person or a group of person and close your eyes to a social issue. Easier answer, right?

I am surprised people are talking about bullying as if it’s just a Bollywood problem. Some of you would have a friend who would tell you about his or her toxic work environment or a workplace bully. A recent study concluded that 75% people become victims of workplace bullying, at some point in their life.

I saw a lot of posts with people saying “talk to me”. Just because you posted “talk to me”, a person feeling low would not come and start talking to you. You need to look out for people who are close to you. You need to identify someone who might be vulnerable. It may be someone who might be having a difficult time professionally or as a friend suggested, someone who stays alone without a family. It may be someone, who has just had some kind of setback in life. Sometimes, you might get a hint of how they feel through their social media activity. We need to realize that things have become digital and people have become bad at actual conversations. If they feel low, they might just remove their WhatsApp profile pictures, or put a depressed sounding status update on Facebook. All of this but they still might not open up on their own. Look out for the signs and vulnerabilities and watch out for them. With 1.3 lac suicides in India in 2018 alone, I am sure we have a lot to understand on the problem, rather than pointing fingers at a person or a group of people like the twitter user below.

And if you ever feel low, “talk to me”.

Yours bitterly,

Ashish M.

(Click on the image to zoom)