If this blog sounds insensitive, I
can’t do much about it honestly. I am not responsible for your scarred life (at
least for most of you).
It’s almost wedding season, and almost
everyone, other than people in my friend circle, are getting married. Love
doves are putting up their wedding
countdowns on social media, and singles are making an Excel tracker of every
countdown. I really love these countdowns, it’s similar to what FIFA does for
the Football World Cup, albeit FIFA doesn’t do it as grand as these folks
getting married. Very soon, most of the weddings would have a theme song to go
with the count-down, just like there was Shakira’s “Waka Waka” for the 2010
World Cup. Weddings are serious here, and I am sure if the “2010 Commonwealth
Games” was called “2010 Commonwealth Wedding”, Indians would have taken the organization
of the event more seriously.
Anyway, weddings need to be special.
We should always remember what SRK said about marriage in one of his movies
where he got married twice – “Hum ek baar
jeete hai, ek baar marte hai, shaadi bhi ek
baar hoti hai.“
While our movies are giving such
important messages on love and marriages, they fail to cover break-ups
properly. There aren’t no legendary dialogues, at least on the back of my mind.
However, there is one popular song. Here are some lyrics of “The Break Up Song”
–
Kuch din
to rona dhona bumper kiya
Aur phir
delete uska number kiya
Aansu jo
sookhe seedha parlour gayi
Parlour
mein jaake shampoo jamkar kiya
Might also add “market jaa kee aalo liya aur raat ko daaru piya” and this song would still make sense.
These lyrics are actually worse than some of the stuff Lil Wayne used to sing. And Lil Wayne once had a song which said – “She licks me like a lollipop”. Yikes!
This leaves people in very awkward situations when preparing for break-ups. You can’t learn about handling break-ups from movies. The trigonometry you learnt in school isn’t helping either. You can’t approach your parents for advice. There aren’t no mentors in this field either. There are love-gurus on radio, but no break-up gurus. The entire system is flawed; it believes things would always work out. Hence, we do not have anything to fall back upon when things go south.
Here are some of the things people generally say, which are quite interesting.
1) It’s not you, it’s me
Why would you do that? Do you have self-esteem
issues where you constantly end up blaming yourself?
Alternative line: It’s not you, it’s not me,
it’s us. Both of us together are a disaster.
2) You’ll find someone better
Lame. It’s like saying we are a mess now, but
at least you have a bright future. Sounded like a proper politician there.
3) I’m so sorry
Clearly displays lack of creativity, efforts
and respect. These are the kind of people who will win the Academy Award and
just say “Thank You” in their acceptance speech, when they were expected to say
so many things.
4) I hope we can still be friends
You should have only been friends in the first place.
5) I never meant to hurt you
… but accidents happen all the time, and there’s collateral damage always.
6) This is hard for me, too
You are feeling terrible. But the fact that
even I’m feeling terrible, should make you feel less terrible.
7) We’re just friends
Friendzoned, actually. Can feel just like
break-up because it ends your imaginary relationship, and hence honorable
mention.
This isn’t an exhaustive list. What you say will actually depend on your creativity, and how smooth you want the break-up experience to be. No matter if you are driving a Ferrari or a Nano, it would always be a tough ride since the road is difficult. And if you break up during these times, all the best on finding anyone during the middle of a pandemic.
I am glad I could write after a long time. I have been able to touch upon a very sensitive issue of our society, which people are afraid to talk about. It’s time to start a conversation.
Wishing fireworks in your relationships (interpret this as you may want – this could mean anything). Happy Diwali.
Yours bitterly,
Ashish M.
P.S. - Thanks to Archita for suggesting this blog idea. If you folks want me to cover other sensitive issues affecting the society, please feel free to reach out.
