Uninstalling Logic…..

logic - reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity

Most of us have been restricted to our homes for the last few months now. We’ve tried to keep ourselves busy, and have been hugely successful in doing so. Ludo is now a national obsession, and it might soon replace nation’s favorite game – cricket (Ludo Premier League, just imagine!). We had a pandemic to fight, so we decided our priorities well and displayed unprecedented national strength. We single handedly brought down ratings of a Chinese app from 4+ stars to around 1 star on Playstore. This was a big statement we made globally, to everyone who had doubts on our resolve when we could not resist alcohol queues.

However, in spite of the astounding achievement, we are not the ones to rest on our laurels. There’s a new fad in town, and its grabbing eyeballs. There’s huge participation, and people are completing the act with flying colours. I am looking forward to get involved as well, and experience a new high in life. But like all the important decisions of my life, this comes with a huge dilemma as well.

The exciting movement I am talking about is boycotting Chinese goods and uninstalling Chinese apps. Let me share my dilemmas here –

1. I plan to uninstall all Chinese apps from my phone. However, my dilemma starts after that. My phone is a Chinese brand. I’ve used American, Taiwanese and Japanese phones. The brand I use used to be American, but a Chinese corporation brought it. The Chinese brand was the best in performance, and offered a great value to the price. Who cares, this phone is going to the bin.
2. I am straight up ordering a new phone from a popular American brand (hint – Its named after a fruit, and its not banana). Some research and it struck me that this brand assembles its phones in China. Who cares, I am going to buy it anyways. I am allowed to be a hypocrite sometimes.
3. I look around the house to bin more goods. My parents are watching Ramayan on TV (Chinese brand, again). I am going to bin that TV, and would suggest my parents to read the book instead. I would not be able to buy a new TV from a Korean brand for some time now, because I will have no money left after buying the (fruit) phone. The TV has some Chinese equipment and was probably assembled in China, but who cares, I am allowed to be a hypocrite sometimes.
4. I keep looking around and I see my laptop. American brand, phew! The backside however, says “Made in China”. Did a fact check and found that this is the case with most computing brands. Not going to use a computer/laptop anytime soon. Can’t be a hypocrite all the time. Setting up a pakoda shop soon.

Here’s the obvious truth. We live in a globalized world, and things are not that simple to segregate. A mobile phone corporation from US, would set up its factory in China, would have the R&D work done in Japan and software solution developed in India. Boycott of goods that we are talking about is impractical, if not impossible. We do not have the capabilities to produce everything we need at this moment, and it would take years to develop those capabilities, even if we wanted to. What next, we would buy goods from some other country, which would be more expensive and would leave us with lesser money.

A friend of mine said, “You can take a person out of China, but not China out of a person.” While this was said as a joke, it’s the bitter truth.

Hope you have a great week ahead. There would be lot of work related calls lined up I’m sure, on Zoom – a US based corporation set up by a Chinese immigrant. It relies considerably on its R&D team set up in China and Chinese equipments. Hope the app is still there. If not, hope that job is still there.

 

Yours bitterly,

Ashish

A Bitter Movie Review - DDLJ

The initial part of the story is set in London, when immigration was easier to the UK. The first line of the movie is: This is London, the world’s biggest city.

This line really sets the tone of the movie straight. Like bro, London isn’t even in the top 10 in terms of land area. Not even in terms of population. Commendable research.  

Simran’s dad (Chaudhry Baldev Singh – CBS) owns a super market. He owns London real estate, like literally, but still claims that he is just making ends meet. He absolutely doesn’t believe in women’s rights. He finalizes his daughter’s marriage around the time she was born, and doesn’t believe she has a say in it. His wife is always scared of him, too.  In conclusion, you can’t claim to be a feminist and enjoy this movie at the same time.

For a girl living in the world’s biggest city, Simran does not seem to have much ambition, except that she writes songs about an imaginary guy in her diary. Her life seems to be all over when she comes to know that she is about to be married (where have I heard that before?). She meets Raj on a Euro trip, who is initially portrayed as a spoilt brat, and falls in love with him. If a guy really behaves like Raj in real life, I am sure he will be branded as a creep. However, his creepiness looks romantic here. Simran is oozing Indian sanskaars in the movie. In one of the scenes, she tells Raj – “Ladki ke saamne sharaab peete hue sharam nhi aati?” (aren’t you embarassed to consume alcohol in front of a woman?). Later in the movie, Raj transforms and develops an incredible lot of sanskaar too.

CBS comes to know about her daughter’s love affair and would have honour killed her, if he wasn’t in London. Instead, he sells off everything, even his London real estate, and decides to move back to India immediately. With all the money, he is still travelling back to his ancestral home in the sleeper coach of Indian rail. Raj develops some scheme and finds a way to Simran’s fiance’s (Kuldeep) home. If you were thinking Raj was bad, Kuldeep (K) seems to be worse. He is very fond of guns and hunting, and goes hunting every morning wearing a denim jacket. Characters in Bollywood movies anyways over dress a lot of times.

Raj is adamant that he will only marry Simran with her parents’ permission, since eloping with her would be against Indian culture. No one told him Lord Krishna had eloped with Rukmini. Krishna did this before it was cool. Instead, Raj tries to win over Simran’s family and within two weeks, he is mostly successful in impressing everyone. Here comes a twist. Just before Simran’s marriage to K, a photo of Raj and Simran flies straight from Simran’s room and directly on to the feet of CBS on the ground floor. He picks up the photo and comes to know about the affair. He calls Raj and slaps him multiple times. Raj decides to give up on Simran and leave Punjab the next day.

All lost, Raj is waiting at the station with his dad to catch a train next morning. Bad guy K turns up with a bunch of his friends, all having guns in their hands. They hold their guns just like a stick, and start hitting Raj and his dad. What an intelligent way of using guns! Anyways, Raj somehow manages to beat up around 8-10 men from a village in PUNJAB on his own (seriously?). Love is like Bournvita, it definitely makes you stronger.

Simran and her family arrive at the station to watch these guys fighting. However, the fight is over and the train arrives just on time. Raj boards the train and Simran wants to board it too. However, CBS grabs her hand tightly and won’t let her go. The train blows the whistle and starts moving slowly. Suddenly, CBS has a change of heart and decides to let her go (indecisive af). Simran starts running in her Indian traditional attire. She is actually running faster than the mail train. She could have boarded any coach, all coaches in an Indian mail train are connected. However, she still chooses to run to ‘that’ particular coach and show us all that she was good a good athlete. She finally caught hold of Raj’s hand, and without any accident, boarded the train. A happy ending, truly!

I remember, I’ve had a similar experience. On my way back to Mumbai once, I got down at Igatpuri station to buy wada pav (potato fritters coated in chick pea flour and served with a bun). The train actually didn’t blow the whistle (unlike the movie) and started moving. With wada pav in one hand, I ran like never before. Even with zero athletic ability, I was able to successfully board the train and could enjoy the wada pav at peace.

Moral of the story is – Indian trains make love stories possible. Why? Because our trains don’t have automatic doors. Manual doors are such a blessing.  

Stay safe everyone and please stay indoors.

Yours bitterly,

Ashish M.