Long Time, No See

Long time, no see – an expression used as a greeting by people who have not seen each other for a while

That’s what we would be saying when we’d meet people after all this is over. It’s been a week and most of us haven’t been out much. I think soon I’d have to wash my hands off my morning walk as well. We have been sentenced to imprisonment by nature. We’ve violated the basic laws and here we are, fighting for our existence against a matter that is not even visible to us. Isn’t it mental that of all the creatures, this virus (COVID-19) seems to be affecting only us.

This situation needs a reaction. A small portion of us are giving a reaction. We even have our Indian “Lala Companies” giving work from home, whereas earlier they rarely allowed people to go to their homes. However, there are lot of people among us who are either overreacting or underreacting. Here are some of them on the top of my mind.

Over-reactions:

1. Stocking up on toilet roll – There will be water. NRIs, do your thing and tell the West, unless you’re embarrassed by us!
2. Non-vegetarians have stopped eating chicken. Chill guys, just avoid bats.
3. Graduates from WhatsApp Academy of Corona Virus Research, one of our reputed institutions. Stop bombarding us with all those do’s, dont’s, news and videos. My dad thinks all of them are true and I have a difficult time explaining. 
4. Handwashing videos. We need videos for even the most basic things now. Wow!
5. Stock markets – This is personal. 

Under-reactions:

1. Gau mutra is the answer. Someone please tell this to the Italians.
2. People unable to keep their ‘wanderlust’ in check.
3. Colleges still insisting on 75% attendance.
4. People with Corona symptoms deciding to throw parties.
5. Folks who still bite their nails when they are nervous.
6. The girl who licked a toilet seat on an airplane and called it “the Corona Challenge*”. In case you did not know, you’ll find this online. We are going to need a special virus that goes after stupid people soon.

Elsewhere, animals are happy. The air is more breathable. Tourist spots are cleaner. There’s less congestion. Me - I haven’t used deodorant for a week. No hair cream either, just coconut oil. Almost no outside food. I had INR100 at the beginning of the week in my wallet, still got 50 left! Things are scary, but sustainable as well, now that nature has sent us back to our caves.

Hopefully, we’re out of this soon. Let’s hope that the punishment meted out on us has a corrective impact, and we learn to respect our boundaries. Let’s not become fathers of mother nature. Stay safe and see you soon!

Yours bitterly,

Ashish M.

(* - please don’t try this, only for experts)